The Days After Graduation

I forgot the most important advice of all for our graduates:

You don't have to have it all figured out right now!

That's it. I remember how important it felt to have plans, and to have those plans be the "right" plans that would ensure my future. It helped to know I was going to college so when everybody asked, "What's next?" I had something to tell them. God forbid I had no answer.

I have since learned, however, that not knowing what's coming next is okay but that took years to figure that out.

Once you're in college the big question is what your major will be; what follows that is the dreaded career question, "What are you going to do with your degree?"

I didn't pick a major until I was a junior in college; I picked English because writing papers was easy for me, all the classes were in the afternoon so I could sleep in, and I thought reading novels was a great way to spend my time whilst in college. I had no career plans except that I wanted to be a writer--I wrote poetry back then--"knew" that was impractical so found some other way to support myself by getting an MA. in Counseling Psychology.

Once I knew I was going to graduate school, I figured I'd answered all the questions about my future that needed answering. I didn't think there was anything more to figure out.

I know, you're laughing, right.

In fact, after college, I spent my twenties just figuring out who I really was and getting massive amounts of therapy to recover from my dysfunctional childhood.

And I still didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up.

After my husband finished school, his stock answer when asked what he was going to do next was, "I have no plans; I 'm hanging out." He had to practice saying it with a straight face. His other stock answer was, "I'm learning to say, 'Would you like fries with that, ma'am?'"

Graduates, it helps to have a stock answer, even if it's not true. It gets people off your back and gives you the breathing room to sort through your options. You don't need to have it all figured out right after high school. It can help if you have a next step, but you don't have to know what that next step will lead to. If you've learned to listen to your inner voice, then following its guidance--even when you don't know where you'll end up--is the best thing you can do.

To thine own self be true is the wisdom of the ages and it's hard to go wrong with that advice.

Best of luck and happy travels.